Void Blog
Just a place for me to write things about my daily life or any ruminations that I haven't shared yet. Screaming into my own personal void, if you will.
2/21/24
Well it was 3 months instead of 1 but hey, things happen. All I will really update is that I'm close to finishing my game, and I'm at a point where I'm making small revisions, bug fixes, and polishes before releasing it. Having created the credits page and realizing that unless something is received extremely poorly by playtesters, I likely won't be adding anymore content. It's an interesting feeling to have worked for so long and finally see the finish line in sight. I can only hope that my work is even marginally well-received. For a free indie game as a first project, go easy on me!
12/16/23
Déjà vu, haven't had the time to write here. Or more like I've chosen to focus my time on other efforts before this website. I know its not New Years yet, but I'll try to at least update this website with a new blog entry every month! I still do plan on adjusting the site too so this isn't a scrapped project or anything.
As for the things I have been working on, it's going really well! My first game, The Oasis with Eyes of Gold (which is briefly mentioned in the projects tab of this website) is nearing its first fully playable draft! I've had some friends play earlier versions but feedback was limited since they couldn't experience the full story, but I've almost reached the full implementation! In terms of game development cycles, this is hitting the Beta stage of the game, while the rest was Alpha. Which is a really exciting prospect! Once I get feedback, make adjustments to the content and make it look nice and pretty, I'll be releasing the game soon! I've already accepted that this game will likely not be successful and won't lead to financial success, but that's not why I'm making it in the first place. It's just a first step towards getting used to sharing my ideas and bringing the plans that I've had for years to fruition, which is an important milestone for my life. Of course, I hope it's successful enough that people like it!But it's okay if it's not, I'll be happy just that it exists.
For those reasons, the game will be free to download. Once it gets to that stage, I'll definitely update this site as well as other locations of mine to share that. It feels nice to have spent so much effort and seeing it come together, even if it's not perfect or exactly what I had in mind. For anyone who plays this game, it may look a little jank but give it a shot! It's a project I wanted to use to get a baseline of my skill, so nearly everything is made entirely by myself. There are numerous free assets that I utilize in this project and yes it does make the game a little weird aesthetically but hey, the point is to show off my skill as a programmer, designer, writer, and "director" I suppose. If people like the work I can create, then I can definitely work closely with artists, musicians, and modelers to better bring to life the vision I have for future projects that I can't accomplish myself. Anyway, whether it's successful or not, you'll never get better at these skills without trying and failing. So if I have to faceplant with this project to get there, I'm happy to take the plunge.
Now, on a lighter note I've been spending a lot of time playing Grand Archive, which I mentioned before on this blog as well. I've had a lot of fun playing this game! There are little bits and pieces that I think are concerning or annoying, but overall this game is the type that I can usually enjoy winning and losing, which is a big deal to me! Currently I'm playing Fire Kingslayer Merlin, but I've been excited about the new set spoilers for Alchemical Revolution and feel like I'll make Astra Arisanna my new favorite champion. I only hope I can play her well!
In the meantime, I've been going with my friends to try and win a Nationals Invite through Store Championship tournaments. My only claim to fame in this game is that I managed to reach Top 8 at a store champs once, but then proceeded to be eliminated by the guy who would win it all. If you're gonna lose, losing to the champ makes it a little better lol. Tomorrow I'll be going for another shot at a Nationals Invite, so I'll be doing my best!
That'll be all for now, and probably till the end of this month. I've got a Japan trip coming up with some college friends of mine, and hopefully by the time that's done I'll have some feedback for my game that I can use to finish out development. Well, right after I cook up some decklists for Arisanna. Things are looking busy early 2024!
8/2/23
Haven't had the time to write much in here. I've been busy creating the first alpha version of my game to share with a few friends and then I went to Mexico for the first time and met family I've only talked to on the phone, if that. I've got a regional tournament I want to go to for Grand Archive and I want to go visit from friends that live a couple hours away from me. Not to mention I'm back to working my job while I continue my indie dev grind. All the while my brain here is constantly tinkering with ideas for my current project and future ones as well. Time does not necessarily feel on my side at the moment. But I certainly have not stopped my efforts.
I can't guarantee I'll be writing in here in a predictable manner, though it does feel nice to share these thoughts that I don't feel have a place anywhere else right now.
Anyway, that's all for now. I have to figure out what my next stages in development will be before work!
6/4/23
So playing YTTD kind of lit a "killing/death game" fire under me and, well, I played through every Danganronpa trial in like a week lol. Not the whole games mind you, just the trials. I'll admit, it was kind of just nostalgia for me lit by YTTD. Though I have pondered potentially creating my own type of evidence-based life-threatening game just cause I've enjoyed them, and figured playing through Danganronpa not so far from playing YTTD might help me compare and contrast the methods in which the player is expected to present evidence, advance a discussion, the ways the game adds more than just the base discussion-logic system (i.e. minigames) and whether or not those work well or not, and of course the scenario the characters find themselves in and how the way they function necessitates certain narrative ideas and game structure. Now that was a lot of vague words describing abstract topics, and I haven't fully sorted my thoughts out on it, so I'll be probably add more ideas as they come. There is certainly one thing that YTTD does better than Danganronpa is the voting requirement. Not necessarily the in-game system itself, (though the first 2 Danganronpa's don't even allow you to vote yourself) but mostly the way the narrative is swayed by the voting system. Mostly, as a player with Danganronpa, though you may be upset at the truth of a trial if the killer is someone you like, there quite literally is no one else you can vote for in the context of the game if the characters want to survive. There is an objective "correct" choice, that as long as you follow the evidence (and perhaps use a scheme or two) you eventually will reach the "correct" answer. In contrast, YTTD does not have a "correct" answer. Finding out the Sage is a solid strategy for a "safe" vote, but it is not mandatory nor "correct". In the context of the average YTTD character, the only "correct" answer is someone who is not the Keymaster or the Sacrifice, that's it. Therefore, the vote itself feels like it has more weight. It's an unavoidable scenario where someone must die, but the person you choose doesn't necessarily have to be suspicious or a killer, just have a killable role and malice directed at them. When a blackened character in Danganronpa begs for their life or tries to negotiate [DRV3 Spoiler Kirumi, basically] It holds less emotional weight cause it's not really like the characters can make a different decision, because it is not correct. But when [YTTD Ch1 Spoiler] Kai begs for his life, there is a lot of weight there. Sure, it wasn't IMPOSSIBLE that voting for anyone but Kai was risky, but once Kai had been outed as the Sage, it was easy to confirm who the Keymaster was, Sara. The Sacrifice would be harder to confirm for sure, but Kai accurately deduced that it was Joe, and thus begged for the group to vote for Sou since that would make him a commoner. The vote didn't go as planned for him, but still the fact that the characters even had the choice to listen to him and vote Sou feels like it gives more emotional weight to the decision itself, as well as the target's desperation to live.
Well that's just an interesting narrative component, I won't prioritize analyzing these concepts for the time being since a death game type of game is not immediately something I am planning for right now. Fun to think about though!
6/2/23
My friend and I hypothesized, just for fun one night, whether we could design a card game and ended up thinking of a game where the point of the game is to "defeat" a character of which your deck revolves around, using allies and skills to deal damage to the opponent's character and you'll be able to equip items or weapons to them to make them stronger. It was literally only 1 night of thinking, but the very next day I remembered there was a new card game, Grand Archive, coming out recently and decided to look into it a little bit more and realized that we basically just re-invented this game LMAO. After I bought starter decks and played with my friend, we both agreed that the game we were hypothesizing was almost exactly like Grand Archive, what a twist lol. On the bright side, I'm getting into this game now while my desire to play yugioh is still kinda weak due to card prices, mainly. Right now I'm building a Water Lorraine deck! Even though there are some cards that seem like mandatory includes like Dungeon Guide at $30+ a copy, I suppose some things may be inevitable in card games. I don't know if the game has a banlist or anything like that, but it seems too strong at 4! Then again, the deck is minimum 60 cards so perhaps a reprint will make things better in the future, though I'll have to see just how the card game pans out beyond it's first set. At the very least, I do enjoy the game.
5/24/23
Thinking some more about YTTD's mechanics, i'm surprised that the discussion system was used beyond the context of the main game. i dont know, i suppose i've just been used to Danganronpa and Ace Attorney style games where the main "discussion/refutation" portion of a game was restrained to the "main" portion. It's very interesting that it was used outside of the main game in a collaborative context for the characters, opens my eyes up to the possibility of using such systems outside of simply arguing amongst one another. perhaps not the most profound revelation, but one i will take into consideration for future endeavours.
5/23/23
BRUH. Spoilers for Your Turn to Die, Chapter 2 Part 2
I just replayed Ch 2 Part 2 to see what happens when you vote Sou, and my god I actually teared up. Fuck, now I just feel bad for Sou as a character dude. And the fact that this route seems to be the "good" choice given the achievement names and the fact that the Joe AI is helpful instead of damning, it's such a sad state of affairs to have your death be necessary for the "good" ending. He really did have 0.0% chance to win... I thought Kanna would hate Sara too for her choice, but no she's so positive and ready to avenge Sou. Contrasting that with Sou's rage in Chapter 3 after voting Kanna, I don't know man... I just can't believe how different the vibes of the ending give, and that Sou needs to die for it to happen. Just the desperation and fear that he has to survive knowing that his chances are literally nonexistent is just too depressing to make come true... but like I said before, I understand his anger when he survives. He's a bit contradictory, to acknowledge that to survive and win he'd have to kill the others and use them but couldn't overcome it in the end just to save Kanna. I admire the resolve, honestly. When it comes to antagonistic characters in death games, (read: Danganronpa since that is the most obvious comparison) I really like Sou. I've had generally positive to neutral feelings on characters such as Byakuya, Nagito, and Kokichi, but genuinely Sou beats out all of them. Not because he's more intelligent than them, seeing as how he was fooled by Keiji and Q-Taro, but because he genuinely is a good guy underneath the mask. I think he also clocked Sara from the beginning because he knew that Sara had the highest percentage, naturally making her his biggest obstacle to overcome if he wanted to survive. It's been a while since I've felt appreciation like this for a character, so another point for YTTD.
Anyway, I'm just going to rush through Ch 3 P1 to be able to play the Final Chapter with both perspectives, I just hope it doesn't take forever lol.
5/21/23 - 7PM
Turns out I just overwhelmed myself about the project, I took some time to relax and ended up getting back in the mindset to code a mechanic I'd been pondering. Feeling better now that I'm doing well in this!
5/21/23 - 1AM
Ugh. Despite having a decent idea for a rework to the map I've been working on for my game, I get annoyed that I just don't understand the principles of map aesthetics to make something both visually appealing and mechnically functional. Also, I just don't find any joy in sculpting a 3D environment, which is unfortunately something I have to do if I want to complete this project. It doesn't help that my redesign, meant to take more advantage of the 3D nature of the game and make the map and puzzles take up more space, will just straight up require more time sculpting maps which I already don't really like. I'm wondering whether I should bite the bullet and just commit to making these maps even if I am unskilled and ultimately believe that in the future I will not be the "map guy" as my projects move forward. Or maybe I should just work within my limits and current skill level and make something small, but at the risk of making something shallow or not as fun as it could've been? I don't know. I hate to sacrifice my vision but I can only do so much to bring it into reality since I'm not an artist in anyway, I'm just a programmer. I suppose the final question is this: without spending a lot of money and not having artistic skills, how can I create something compelling and fun that looks decent? Up till now, I'd been prioritizing using free-licensed assets to make up for things I cannot build myself, even knowing that it makes the project less unique. And yet, do I have such lofty aspirations for the look and feel of this game that I don't want to settle for something of a lesser quality? Is it so unforgivable to make a product of a lower quality when I am incapable of raising it higher without bringing more people on board? Or is this just an excuse to avoid putting in work on aspects I'm not particularly fond of, yet I recognize as being important?
Ah well, perhaps I just get too caught up in the games I play and comparing my work to them, especially if they are of a similar genre. For example, I play the Talos Principle and it's got a similar aesthetic (though its themes are not the same) to the project I want to make, yet that game had a decently sized team contributing to various parts of the game, in contrast I am only 1 man. To think I can create a project of such quality without taking an extremely long time learning all these skills and implementing them all alone is absurd. And yet the creeping hands of the clock tick ever so loudly just beyond my vision. Time to prove that all your time and effort learning code to make a videogame was not a waste. I suppose I am ultimately just afraid of failing, afraid of having wasted my time, and comparing myself to literal teams of people with years of development and experience has done me no good to my perspective. I just need a way to bring my vision to reality, even if only as an amateur. Remembering that is tough, and I think I'm just overwhelming myself again. But even still, that dreadful reminder creeps behind me.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
5/20/23
So far I've gotten to the current end point of Your Turn to Die, being Chapter 3, Part 1. Incidentally, Spoilers for Your Turn to Die: Chapter 3, Part 1.
It's not out of the question to compare a game like this to others in its genre, the most prominent example I can think of is Danganronpa. That series has its fair share of criticisms, but the one thing I do not like about Your Turn to Die is the deaths that occur unceremoniously. Not that it's somehow unrealistic or something, these are all technically possible outcomes in a death game such as this, but that doesn't mean it's entertaining to see. In Danganronpa, every death shifts the entire landscape. If someone is murdered, the game flow switches up. A body has been discovered. And then the next section will be dedicated to discovering the murder, following an execution. Each death feels meaningful, or is treated like a focal point in the game. In Your Turn to Die, some of the character deaths just feel... hollow. There's no flair, there's no importance, they just die. The most recent example for me being when Ranmaru kills Reko. You just suddenly stop seeing her... and then you suddenly find her dead... and then you just move on. It feels like such a bad way of ending a character arc. Sure, it's realistic in the sense that you don't always get the chance to say your goodbyes or have a satisfying end, and if you like that then kudos to you. But at the end of the day it's a story meant to entertain, and I feel like it just ends up feeling like wasted potential. Same thing with Alice's death in Chapter 2, Part 1 if that's the outcome you got. He just walks into a room and dies, then the main game starts up and it becomes almost irrelevant cause there's something more important to focus on. I don't know. I think if the premise of the game is a death game where the limited number of characters you meet are going to start dropping dead, at least making their deaths meaningful or treated like more than just a side event would be nice. Still, I am enjoying the game it's just these deaths that annoy me. The main game deaths feel extremely meaningful because they are the focal point of the main game, execution by majority. But the other one's don't feel satisfying at all because they just happen and must be moved on from quickly because there's more plot happening in the background.
Still, playing this game has kind of reignited my enjoyment for this type of genre and I wonder if I can come up with a narrative or premise of this type as well. Perhaps if I come up with something interesting, I'll be making that one of my upcoming projects.
5/15/23 - 6PM
Had an interesting conversation with a friend about the hypothetical design of a card game. For context, we both play Yu-Gi-Oh and have played Weiss Schwarz, have not played but are aware of Pokemon and Magic. Mostly it was about discussing the positives and negatives of both games, and how one might design a card game that finds a nice middle ground between interactive gameplay, a sense of (but not dependence on) luck to give the game some unpredictability and tension, and resource management. Not that creating a card game is anywhere on my planned project list, but hey maybe for fun I might.
5/15/23 - 1AM
*Note* I'll probably rework this into a different format soon, for now bear with me for this lol.*
So I've been playing Your Turn to Die for the 1st time and just finished Chapter 2. What an interesting way of having meaningful branching paths! I'd always thought of how exactly to handle something like that in a death game, and a shorter chapter structure as well as having the player input the meaningful outcomes in order to make it easier for a player to replay a chapter and get the other perspective is very interesting! A big thing I'll have to take note on is how the 2nd Main Game progresses differently depending on which person dies before it takes place. My assumption is that the dialogue is different but the events that unfold are largely the same. I presume the 2nd Main Game ending outcome will have a much larger impact on the greater story and ending, but I suspect it will largely have the same main events occurring throughout with a branched ending. That's understandable, it'd be a bitch to craft an entirely new plotline for any possible combination of participants. I think this major change in plot development was intentionally made at the end of chapter 2 and followed by a Final Chapter so as to avoid extending the consequences of these changes too far into the future, so I think this is a very manageable way of making it work! I can't remember exactly where I read it before, but I believe the idea of a branching path is best implemented when the branch does not deviate from the main plot for too long before it "resolves" itself and goes back to the main flow. For example, some branching decision that gets a strong supporting character killed would definitely have major ramifications that can't be resolved! Following a path like this, especially made early on, risks creating two entirely different stories! But choosing to provide or deny someone help can have ramifications that can appear throughout a story, but don't have to change the main flow of the story. So something like Your Turn to Die is fine since it only has a 3 Chapter structure and the main branches happen at the end of Chapter 2, so you only really have to deal with the ramifications of these major choices for 1 Chapter.
Now the game design aside, the actual chapter. The rest of this will contain spoilers for Your Turn to Die Chapter 2.
I'm not quite sure what steps I took for this outcome, but I ended up getting Alice killed. I'll have to look that up. The more important outcome was the final vote. And honestly, it was tougher than I thought. You would think, "hey, maybe kill Sou since he's an adult and offering himself and Kanna is just a kid right?" Well, yea, I tried to convince myself of that. But despite Kanna's pleas of "voting for logic" to keep Sou alive in order to escape, I just voted for her to honor her conviction. She admitted it that she had always planned to die for Sara anyway by taking her sacrifice card, and though it is a much bigger difference to have to pull the trigger yourself, I went through with Kanna as my vote. Honestly, I can understand the feelings of both Kanna and Sou. Being an older brother and an adult, I think in real life I would've made this decision differently. And the idea of having sent this little girl to her death by my hand for, as Sou fittingly puts it, some childish sense of duty or logic was kinda rough. I saluted her and shed some tears as I clicked submit. I may even say I regret my decision after seeing Sou's devastation. I mean I get it. Put me in Sou's shoes trying to save this little girl and after practically begging to take her place I can only stand by and watch her die, hell I'd think they were all monsters too. I didn't have a hate-boner for Sou or anything, just saw him as a bit of a dick who's a little too good at manipulating people, but it's not like I wanted him to die either. Still, my decision was made mostly on Kanna's conviction rather than any malice towards Sou, and I'm eager to find out how the game progresses differently if you actually listen to Sou. Perhaps I do regret my choice. Regardless, the fact that I have put so much thought into this and felt strongly enough to write about this is commendable for the game in its own right. Can't wait to finish it!